fear not

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." - 1 John 4:18

A wise friend spoke this truth to me in the very recent past. In that moment, I was torn between listening to the voice in my head and trusting the truth in my heart. My head was throwing around words like "failure", "pain" and "rejection" while my heart was saying to trust and have faith. The voice in my head has a name, and that name is fear. It is fear that sometimes keeps me from doing those things that require a little bit more than I want to give. You know, those things that require more bravery, trust and sacrifice than I am comfortable giving.

My friends and I like to go sailing from time to time. I distinctly remember one occasion when the wind was up and the waters were a bit rougher than usual. The small sailboat was thrashing to and fro and the sides of the boat were dipping low in to the water. My friend and I laid across the bow of the boat with our fingers clinging to the side for support. I can recall the feeling of being dunked in to the waves and the water splashing our faces. There was a moment, when the boat tipped low, that it felt that I wouldn't be able to hold on much longer. At the time, we laughed at how fearful we were of falling in and how we were "white knuckling" the boat. It was a fun experience, but an exhausting one. For days later, my knuckles and muscles were sore from gripping the boat so tightly. I often think about this when I find myself "white knuckling" the situations and people in my life. I want control and I sometimes wear myself out trying to hang on for dear life, unwilling to ride out the fear.

I have a 3 year old and he has decided that he no longer likes sleep. Even though his body clearly needs it, he fights it tooth and nail. Often times, he fights it so hard, and so long, that the tiredness literally consumes him and he becomes a whiny and miserable little guy. Last night, as I was rocking him to bed, he was fighting the sleep in a terrible way. He was fidgeting and singing and kicking his feet to keep himself awake. And as I rocked him and sang to him, I felt his body giving in and letting go. All at once he just relaxed and I felt the fight leave him. He was asleep within seconds.

My fear is real and it manifests itself in a number of different insecurities and defenses. But what I need to remember, is that "God gave us not a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control"(2 Timothy 1:7). When I trust that God wants what is best for me and I rely on the promises He has made me, there is no need to fear. And those promises are vast and exceedingly more than I could ask for. He promises:

- to prosper and not harm me (Jeremiah 29:11)

- to never leave or forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6)

- to work for my good (Romans 8:28)

- to make my paths straight (Proverbs 3:6)

- to renew my strength (Isaiah 40:31)

- to carry out His plans for me (Philippians 1:6)

These promises are a solid and unchanging ground to stand on. When these truths reside in your heart, there is no room for fear. If we believe that God is a God who keeps His promises and trust that He knows what is best then we can let go and relax in the comfort of His provisions. We can stop fighting against God's purposes, a fight we will surely lose, and become a part of them. In the end, it will leave us a lot more refreshed and a lot less sore.

"By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before Him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart and He knows everything." - 1 John 3:19-20