A hole lot of Jesus

"There's a God-shaped hole in all of us

And the restless soul is searching
There's a God-shaped hole in all of us
And it's a void only he can fill"

 - Plum

Lately, I have been feeling like I am walking in the wilderness in my relationship with God. The fact is that I know He is there and I know that I should be desiring to be closer to Him. And in theory, I absolutely want this. But in truth, today, I am just not feeling it. Ever have those days when you just can't seem to make what you need equal what you want? The Apostle Paul said it like this:

" For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing." - Romans 7:18-19 (ESV)

It makes me feel better to know that even Paul struggled to get his wants and his reality to line up. The problem is this sin that lives inside me, the selfish desire to only do what feels good and right to me. In today's times, especially in this American society, we are rooted in the pursuit of freedom which translates in to feeling that we have the right to have whatever we want or can earn ourselves. But here is the deal, we don't really earn anything in this life, it is given to us 

" Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God." - 2 Corinthians 3:5

And it is not given to us for our own discretion and delight, but for the works of the Kingdom

" And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work." - 2 Corinthians 9:8

Yes, I am in the wilderness right now and that is natural. And in this weakened state it is also natural to be in thirsty and in want. And just as surely as God provided manna form Heaven for the Egyptians, He will also provide for our needs. He will give us OUR daily bread if we would just ask. 

"And my God shall supply all you need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:9 

Paul knew what it was like to struggle and to fight his own desires. But in his time of need He realized that what He really needed was more of Jesus and less of himself. To really be of use, He needed to fill those empty holes with the things of Jesus, knowing that those things were gifts to use for God's glory and purposes. I think I miss most of that lesson in my everyday life. I understand that I fall short, and that there is an emptiness that happens when I rely only on myself. What I tend to forget is that these empty spaces signify a need for Christ. They are God-shaped holes that can not be fully quenched with the empty trappings of this world. God wants to fill them with Himself, but He also wants us to do something with the stuff He gives us. Something for Him, and not for ourselves. So today I find myself asking what it is that I really need today? And if I had it, how would I turn it back to God?