Weeping and Waiting

In this season of my life, I am learning much about how to sustain joy through all circumstances. I will admit that I fail, and have failed, many times on this subject. It is not an easy thing to cling to, trust in and rely on the promises you can not see and the truths you can not feel. In my sinful and limited perspective, it is far easier to base my mood and attitude and faith on the things that are happening right now, right in front of me. But, while it is easier, it is not always beneficial because this view leads to temporary joy and wavering peace. In these times I am often reminded of John 11. This is the chapter that refers to the death of Lazarus verses (1-7).

"Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. (This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair.) So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”

 When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days, and then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.” 

Lazarus was a friend of Jesus. His sisters had hosted Jesus in their home and had become very close to him. So it seems strange that upon hearing that his friend was sick that Jesus decided to stay where he was. In our limited view of God, we expect him to be merciful and to have a heart for his people and to long to meet their needs. And this is true, God does want to meet our needs. He very much longs to extend His mercy to a people He undoubtedly loves. Where we get it wrong is that we have a very narrow idea of what this need-meeting looks like. We want answers to prayers, and solutions to problems but we want them in a very specific timing and systematic way. When we say to Jesus that our brother is sick, we want Him to help us and we expect that healing is the way it shall be. However, Jesus moves when He intends to and His ways are never less than exactly what was needed. Jesus has a bigger plan and a bigger picture than we do. So, He waits when we think He should move. And even though we panic and whine, He knows exactly what He is doing.

verses 11-14

After he had said this, he went on to tell them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.” ...

His disciples replied, “Lord, if he sleeps, he will get better.” Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep.

So then he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.”

Herein lies the key to what Jesus' plan so full proof and ours so lacking (other than the fact that He's Jesus). In all of His actions, the purpose is to bring glory to Himself and to have people believe. Our plans end in us getting what we want, and getting it how we want it. But God's plan ends in more of Him. So He waits because waiting brings more glory to Him. Waiting ensures that someone else will believe and understand and come to Him. Maybe that is you, or maybe it is the one who is watching you in your trials. Whatever the case may be, there is a reason that Jesus is waiting and that reason is always to lead to more of Him. That whole last verse has nothing to do with Jesus, and everything to do with us, the sinners who require sight to believe. He says, "for YOUR sake I am glad I was not there, so that YOU may believe". His plan revolves around what will help us see more clearly, what will help us understand more fully, and experience more wholly. His plan works all things out so that we see, understand and experience HIM to the fullest. He moves all the details in our life to achieve this end and yet we complain when the why's and how's don't meet the measure in our head.

verses 25-27

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

“Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”

Like Martha, when bad things hit close to home we want answers. We want to know why God didn't do what we know He is capable of. We want to know that this story will have a happy ending and that all the trouble will be worth it. But sometimes Jesus puts us in the midst of hard times so that He can ask us "do you believe?". Like Martha, He wants to know if we believe in more than what we see and feel. He wants to know that our hope is in the eternal life we have inside and not the external circumstances that threaten to steal our hope and peace. And when we can answer "Yes, Lord" then He can move in the way He wants to, knowing that we are on board, wherever that takes us.

verses 33-37
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”

How are you reacting to the trials in your life? Are you like the Jews, saying "see how he loved him" even as he let him die? Or are you like those others, those few, who looked and said, "could not he... have kept this man from dying"? It is a matter of perspective. One chooses to look at the loss and the other chooses to look at the Lord. One says "Oh, how He loves us- even in this - enough to do this" and the other says "if He really loved us He would have saved us from all this". In the end, Jesus brought Lazarus, who was dead for 4 days, back to life. He made the impossible happen. And sometimes Jesus will make the impossible happen in our lives as well. He will save and heal and repair and move in the way we hoped He would. But He may also choose to break what seems to be fragile or wound what seems to be weak. Sometimes His wonders won't make sense because we can't see through the pain and heartache. Either way, we can be assured that everything is being worked out for the good of those who love Him. What we need to begin to wrap our minds around is that the "good" isn't more of this or less of that... it is just Jesus.