what is better

Lately, I have been feeling the weight of anxiety. And while I know that this is a weight I have put upon my own back, that thought alone has not made the burden any lighter. You see, like most women, I have a need to control and plan and coordinate my agendas and my life. I like things to be "just so". And this tactic sometimes works out for me. But sometimes, and I am finding this happening more often than not, all of my plan and prep work doesn't amount to anything more than tired feet and an aching back. The truth is that all of the energy and time I put in to creating the "perfect" scenario is a waste if that scenario isn't the one the Lord has envisioned for me. It is a little silly to think about how much of myself I pour in to getting the details right, when all of that pouring causes me to miss out on the only detail that truly matters. For all my piecing together and puzzling things out, I often find that the pieces of my life are not creating the big picture that I was striving for. To help illustrate my point, I want to draw from a well known passage:

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” - Luke 10:38-42

I will give you one second to figure out which character I relate to in this story. I AM Martha. I totally relate to this woman. She is busy for the Lord. So busy, in fact, that she is missing the fact that He is right in front of her. Of course, there is nothing wrong with hard work. In fact, Proverbs 31 instructs the women of God not to eat the "bread of idleness" (vs. 27). Which indicates to me that the problem here is not how much Martha is working. The problem is that she was "distracted". She was so distracted with the preparations that she left no time to sit and enjoy the presence of her company. And her "company" was Jesus. The Lord was sitting in her house, asking for her to sit and fellowship with him, and all she could think about was the food, drink and table. There is a tendency to dismiss Martha as utterly silly and somewhat selfish. But, everyday we have the chance to sit and fellowship with our Lord and Creator. And everyday, we find ourselves so consumed with our thoughts and tasks that we miss the opportunity to sit and be with the one who made us.

I find vs 41 and 42 particularly convicting. Jesus tells Martha "you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed - or indeed only one." Right now I can think of a million things in my head that are not going the way I had hoped or planned or expected. And this typically causes me to worry and over think and analyze. On the whole, I become so busy deciding for myself what is best that anything less than that causes stress and anxiety. The problem is that I am using my definition of "best" and not the Lord's. Because He has clearly told us in verse 42 that "Mary has chosen what is better". "Better" involves sitting with the Lord and listening to what He has to say. Somehow I have the feeling that by pursuing what is "better" the stress, anxiety and worry of this life may be avoided or, at the very least, diminished. 

I write this for myself - and for anyone else who is wearing themselves out trying to accomplish everything on their list. Take time to find out what is better and make room in your house and your heart for sitting and listening to the Lord. Let the dishes sit a while, let the laundry wait. "Come near to God and He will come near to you" (James 4:8).  This is the one thing that is needed.